who i am

Our family (extended) has been a bit busy with physical ailments the past couple of weeks; my YiaYia and Papou have been quite sick, my Grandma broke her femur and since she's been in the hospital after her surgery has been hit with a respiratory & heart issue--she's ok-- Jim broke his toe, kids sick, etc., etc., etc.

While some of these things may be small in comparison, they still require a lot of time from family members.  My grandparents need help with food and Dr's appointments.  My Grandma needs someone in the hospital to deal with the Doctors.  And the people who do these things need 'back-up'.  This stuff takes a good chunk out of their daily routines & work schedules, and they put their lives on hold to help those who are sick or in the hospital.  But when they do this, a lot of their daily lives fall by the wayside.  And this, by God's mercy and grace, is where I come in.

My mom reminded me of this fact last night.  She told me, "You are a rock for me.  You're always there."  This floored me.  I have just been doing what I am supposed to be doing....because it's who I am.  But let me back up for you to give you a little insight into my life.


I know many of you may have spotted your God-given gifts along time ago but for me it really happened only about 3 years ago.  You see, I struggled for a long time with feeling like I had little to offer people.  All I did was cook and clean and wipe kid's butts.  (I know, crass but true).  I struggled with seeing people in careers or using their 'talents', them knowing what they were good at...not that I wanted a career outside the home but I wanted that 'know' of what God gave me to share with others...and really I'm not talking about "careers" because anyone can have a career if they try hard enough but I talking about God-given gifts--something you can't work to attain, but a gift--Priesthood, Teacher, Service, Exhortation, Leadership, Words of Wisdom, etc.

I tried the Sunday School Directorship offered to me but that proved to be a disaster.  Maybe not for the Sunday School, but for me.  I was unhappy and frustrated.  It took a couple of years but I finally resigned last year.  PHEW!

But in the midst of these feelings and thoughts intensifying, it was in a conversation with my best friend that I realized what God gave to me to share with others...my God-given gift.  I was telling her how hard it was for me to see her doing all her nursing stuff (even though she hadn't worked in 8 years) because in that, her gift of knowledge was being used and people saw and came to know the love of God in that.  And then me sitting there with (what felt like) nothing, no special talents, no tricks, nothin'.  (I know, cry your eyes out, right?  Sheeesh!)
I will never forget the look on her face--it was as if I had just said, and truly believing it, that I could turn water into wine--as though I had completely lost my mind.  She stared at me, saying absolutely nothing.  And those few moments of silence felt like an eternity.  I honestly thought for a sec that she was getting mad.  But she looked over at me and said, "Sarah,...............you are a servant. (!)"

And it was in that moment that my world made sense.  I am a Servant.

No wonder I wasn't at peace (or even happy) when I was the Sunday School Director.  I am not a Leader.  I am a Servant.

No wonder I am most at peace (and even happy) when I am cooking a meal for my family or others in need of a warm meal.  I am a Servant.

No wonder I am most at peace (and even happy) when I am doing mountains of laundry.  I am a Servant.

No wonder I am most at peace (and even happy) when I am scrubbing toilets soiled from sick kids.  I am a Servant.

No wonder I am most at peace (and even happy) when I am wiping little tushies.  I am a Servant.


I am a Servant.


This is who I am.  God gave me a heart to serve.

I am most at peace when I am serving others.  Because when I serve others, I am serving God.

When we use our God-given gifts in a way that brings Him glory, then we will be at peace.  And we will find that we are even happy (most of the time).